


all that remains is dust and dawn

by shadowdance



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 17:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8810431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowdance/pseuds/shadowdance
Summary: Severa returns to Ylisse after a year of travels to find that not much remains, not even herself.





	

**Author's Note:**

> mostly implies every kid had their single ending, although (minus sev, inigo, and noire) it's up to interpretation. i love the future kids thats all

She braces herself in front of the house and knocks. When Cordelia opens it, Severa arranges her mouth in a smile.

“Hey,” she says, forcing her tone to sound bright. “Miss me?”

 

+

 

Cordelia slides a cup of tea over to the mercenary, baby Severa bouncing on her hip. Older Severa takes the cup and wraps her fingers around the mug gratefully, staring at the baby version of herself. Silence stretches between them, and threatens to be broken.

Severa breaks it first. “So how old am I?” It’s a lousy attempt at a joke, and she winces; humor has never been her strong suit. Cordelia smiles politely anyways.

“She was born just last year. You came to visit around this time, but I was still pregnant with her at the time.” Her mouth twists, and Severa doesn’t miss the way she avoids saying _her_ name, speaking as if they’re two separate people.

“She’s cute,” Severa finally says, and it feels very weird to her all of a sudden, facing herself in younger years. Her baby self just stares and stares at her, taking in the stranger in unfamiliar garments. Her eyes are the exact same color as Severa’s, which isn’t a surprise—she literally _is_ Severa—but it makes the mercenary shiver just the same.

“She’ll grow into a fine lady.” Cordelia smiles, paying her future daughter a compliment; it’s an art of hers, complimenting people but refusing to take some herself. She bends down to her baby. “Sev, can you wave hello to…” she falters for a moment. “Can you wave hello the friendly mercenary?”

Baby Severa blinks owlishly at Older Severa. Her hand does not move, so Cordelia takes her arm and waves it for her. Older Severa feels a pang of jealousy, loneliness, and a billion other things, but she hides it behind a smile. Inigo has taught her well.

Cordelia adjusts her arms around the baby and leans forward. “So, how have you been?”

“I’m fine.” Severa shrugs. “Making a good living for myself. I can understand why Gregor liked being a mercenary.”

“That’s good,” Cordelia says, all with a pretty smile on her features. “I was going to try to be a mercenary, but that didn’t really cut it for me.”

“So you’re not perfect at something?” Severa mutters under her breath, and then immediately regrets it. Luckily, Cordelia appears to not have heard her, and if she has, she ignores it. Severa worms her way off the hook this time.

“How long are you staying?” Cordelia asks, right as Severa picks up the tea and takes a sip. “I mean—maybe you want to see your father?” She bites her lip, and Severa realizes she’s nervous. Nervous about offering her estranged daughter to see her family again in the flesh, the one who left with no goodbyes.

Severa drains her tea and places it down. “I’ll be gone in a fortnight, probably. _How to Run Away in a Fortnight_ —there should be a book about that.” She scoffs, and Cordelia blinks, not getting the joke at first before a blush creeps up her neck. “I’ll see if I can make time to see Dad, but I don’t know.”

“He’s your father,” Cordelia says absentmindedly. “I think you should see him.”

Severa shrugs. The reason she left was to shrug off any intimacy from her parents, but she can’t deny there is a pang in her chest when Cordelia says that. “I’ll consider it, _Mother_.”

She scrapes the chair back, and her baby self peers back up at her. Severa smiles thinly, and she wonders what it would be like to hold her. Immediately, though, she pushes that from her mind; it’s not like she would ever be offered the chance, and even if she was, would she want to?

“I’m going to go visit Noire,” Severa tells Cordelia, and the baby in Cordelia’s lap sneezes. “If I don’t come back, I’ll be fine. Trust me.”

“Severa,” Cordelia begins, but Severa feels a prickling under her skin, like she’s stayed far too long. She takes long strides towards the door, eager to get out of the house.

“See you next year, Mom!” she calls out, not turning back once. She wrenches the door open, but not quick enough—Baby Severa starts to cry, the beginnings of a wail rising before the door falls shut.

 

+

 

Noire lives in a small house with her parents. Nobody is home when Severa walks up, but there is a pair of footprints that lead deep in a forest, looking newly treaded in. She follows that path and finds a black tent set up, something glowing underneath the tarp. Severa follows her instincts and finds Tharja inside, brewing something.

“Do we have the rat blood?” she asks, her voice sharp, and Severa can picture Noire, posture bent awkwardly, hurrying to her mother and presenting a vial of blood. Tharja murmurs some praise, and Noire’s slight gasp of shock is silent but pleased.

Severa swallows her fears and steps in. “Hello?” she calls, and every other movement freezes. The sound of bubbling reaches her ears.

Then Noire appears. Her hair is a little bit longer, brushing against her shoulder blades, but her skin is darker and her eyes don’t have that fearful look anymore. When she spies Severa, she brightens.

“Oh my gods, Sev!” she rushes forward and takes Severa’s hands; she still wears gloves, and they’re rough against Severa’s skin. Noire squeezes her hands lightly as Tharja rounds the corner, a bristled look on her face. When she catches sight of Severa, her features soften slightly, but not too much.

“I guess you can go on a break now,” she mutters, and Noire smiles thankfully at her mother. Tharja merely rolls her eyes and shuffles away, not even asking about Severa’s journeys. Then again, she probably doesn’t care, and it’s not like Severa cares about Tharja too much; she really only cares for Noire.

They walk just outside of the tent, a wide smile on Noire’s face; Severa wishes she could return the look, but her face remains curled in her signature sneer. “How’ve you been?” she asks Noire anyways, attempting to sound friendly in her tone.

Noire literally _beams_. “I’ve been okay. Just been working with my mother—it’s not, um, _too_ exciting.” Severa notes she doesn’t stumble over her words so much, and her signature anxious quiver is nearly nonexistent. Severa’s heart squeezes.

“So what do you and Tharja even do?”

Noire shrugs. “Make potions, cures and spells. She doesn’t really use me as a lab rat.” She sounds almost proud at that fact, and it breaks Severa’s heart. “We made a cure for baby Lucina’s cold. Chrom was shocked, and Mother was too, but it worked, so i-it’s all good.”

Severa swallows. Noire looks so happy, the emotion strangely fitting her. Whenever Severa used to picture Noire, she pictured a cowering, pessimistic young woman, or a sniveling, shaking girl clutching a bow as she played huntress. Noire looks strong now, satisfied and pleased. Severa imagines this is what she wanted to look like when she left, but she hasn’t quite found it in her yet.

“Hey,” Noire says, cutting off Severa’s thoughts, “how have you been? You’ve been wandering around, haven’t you?”

Severa swallows. “Um—yeah. Just going here and there. Nothing really interesting happens, and I always get drawn back to this damn place.” The words come out a little harshly at that last part, and Noire blinks, a look of hurt drawing out on her face. Okay, so she hasn’t changed _too_ much, and Severa feels the familiar rush of regret.

“Noire,” she amends, “I didn’t mean this place was bad or anything, and it’s not bad to stay here. I just—I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.” She feels very awkward, and Noire nods but remains silent. In the timespan of being gone, Severa has gotten very good at ruining things, apparently.

“Have you heard from anyone else?” she asks abruptly, desperate for a subject change, and Noire smiles lightly.

“Owain and Cynthia both send letters,” she says absentmindedly, toying with her left glove. Where, underneath the fabric, lies Tharja’s old ring, Severa knows. “Cynthia says she’s meeting some a-amazing people, and Owain…well, I can never tell w-what he says, b-but I think he’s having a good time. And I see Nah sometimes.” She smiles, and then Severa sees her eyes miraculously fill with tears. She resists the urge to roll her eyes.

“They all left,” Noire suddenly says in a small, trembling voice, and Severa sees the shadow of the old girl, the Noire she knows emerging. “Everyone just…left. I don’t get it. Not even Lucina could stay, and she’s the E-Exalt.”

“Not in this timeline.” The words fly from Severa’s mouth before she can stop them, and it makes her wince. Noire gives a watery smile.

“Yeah, I-I know. And it probably brings up some ugly memories. But nobody stayed. I’m the only one left, and I don’t want to be alone…” her voice trails off, and Severa shifts, feeling uncomfortable. She doesn’t want to say she left because she couldn’t deal the people here, because she was selfish and she couldn’t handle the past replaying before her. She can’t say that, because she doesn’t want to break Noire.

“I…get it,” she says shortly, even though she knows she doesn’t. “Look, I gotta head out, Noire, I’m sorry…”

Noire wipes her eyes and stands up. It strikes Severa how tall she is—Noire always cowered before her, and her full height is strange to see. “Write to me, okay?” she says, taking Severa’s hands once again. “I miss you.”

That’s it: those last three words threaten to spill tears. Severa’s throat constricts, and she swallows. “Me too,” she responds. “I’ll try.”

Noire smiles, and then goes back into the forest, retreating to the dark tent where her mother waits. Severa stands there, feeling stupid and numb and a million of other things, but somehow she is able to turn away and move steadily out, one foot over the other.

 

+

 

She means to go see her father, and she spies him talking to Chrom out in a training field. Severa creeps closer, the bushes hiding her, and the way her father moves and laughs make her heart twist. She knows she should go reveal herself to him, but suddenly she just feels so _tired_. Tired of surprised expressions and _how are you_ s and dancing around the question of _where have you been._

Her father looks up suddenly, and his eyes just happen to stray over to her hiding spot, of _course_. Severa freezes, feeling paralyzed as his gaze sweeps over the bushes. His eyes meet hers, and for one dreadful second, Severa sees him startle at this sight. Then Chrom taps him on the shoulder, presumably asking him what’s wrong, and her father forces himself to turn away.

He probably turned back to make sure he wasn’t seeing things, but Severa doesn’t stay to find out—she springs upwards and speeds off, ready to be long gone.

 

+

 

It is nightfall when she makes her way through a town near the outskirts of Ylisse. Chrom once claimed he and Robin met at a rugged town where bandits had ransacked, and Severa thinks this might be the place—there are burn scars etched in the ground, faint but still there. The town is dead silent, and Severa seems to be alone as she wanders through. It’s nice, but she keeps a hand on her sword anyways.

Then there is a noise behind her, and Severa draws out her sword. “Come out,” she commands, and a familiar boy clutching a flower in one hand and a sword in the other appears from the shadows.

One boy smiles. One girl scowls.

“Why are _you_ here?” Severa wrinkles her nose and reluctantly lowers the sword. Inigo grins cheekily, twirling the flower through his hands.

“Nice to see you too,” he replies, hardly bothered. “Just traveling, stopping by to see some old friends. You know, the usual.”

He says this all with an easygoing smile and a sweet tone to go along with it, but Severa winces at the last words. “There’s nobody there,” she says, recalling Noire’s words. “Everyone left.”  
  
Inigo’s face twitches. “Well, we can’t say we weren’t part of the leaving, can we?”

Severa sheathes her sword, narrowing her eyes at him. The silence stretches between them, tense and thick, but Inigo’s smile doesn’t wane and Severa’s scowl remains etched on her face.

“Where are you going?” Inigo asks, finally breaking the silence. Severa crosses her arms, cocking her head to the side.

“Somewhere. I don’t know. Just away from here, and for a long, long time.” Severa hopes those last few words are true, but Inigo doesn’t appear to believe them. He merely shakes his head.

“You know, Sev, I think you’re afraid,” he says, and Severa’s heart skips a beat.

“Excuse me?” she snaps, recoiling instinctively. “What makes you think _that_?”  
  
Inigo shrugs. “I mean, we all left for a reason, right? I think your reason is because you don’t want to get close with many people. You don’t want to care for people because then they’ll care for you in return, so you left.”

“Is this what you told yourself after I rejected you?” Severa sneers callously, but she feels empty. Inigo plasters another smirk on his face, taking a step forward.

“It’s just something I figured. It might not be true, but you know.” His smirk turns condescending, and Severa contemplates if it would be worth it to punch his face. “So? Am I right? You don’t like intimacy because you don’t want someone to melt your ice queen exterior?”

“That’s a load of bull,” Severa snarls, although Inigo’s words have a ring of truth. It’s not the exact reason, but it’s close enough to make her insides squirm. “Well, what about _you_?”

“What about me?” Inigo cocks his head to the side questioningly, but he’s not an idiot. Severa rolls her eyes again.

“Why did you leave, flower boy?” Now she’s the one who takes a step forward, but Inigo isn’t as brave as her; he steps backwards, almost stumbling. “Why did you leave Ylisse? Because you want to be a hero across the lands, so girls will just swoon upon hearing your name?” Her lips twist at the last words, and Inigo flinches.

“ _Severa_.” His voice is sharp now, all fun lost. Severa shrugs and steps backwards, turning slowly on her heel. She didn’t find that as enjoyable as she thought she would.

“See you later, Inigo.” She waggles her fingers and takes a step forward, but he stops her again.

“You don’t care why I left?” Inigo blurts it out, and there’s a tinge of surprise in his voice. Severa exhales and wheels around slowly, ignoring a stab of pain in her heart.

“Why would I?” she asks, the words sharp with lies. She meets his eye, daring him to contradict her, but Inigo remains quiet, so she continues. “I mean, I don’t really care for anyone, right? And that’s what I wanted—only needing to worry about my own feelings, right? That’s why I left, _right_?”

With that, she whirls around and doesn’t look back.


End file.
